A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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