In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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