I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
