im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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