we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
