just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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