Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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