I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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