It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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