I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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