She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
