did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I am mentally ready for anal.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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