Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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