That's when you crack a 10am beer
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
And then he peed in my hair
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