you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
