return my video game
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
