You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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