Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Randomize
