**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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