I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
