whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize