Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
