i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
