PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The uberlube is also flammable
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
