My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
