Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
