u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
