Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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