Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
