i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think i got beer on your cat.
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