airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
