There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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