your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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