I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
