you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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