just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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