You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
