I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
