Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
