I'd wear matching sweaters with you
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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