he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
