so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
