what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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