# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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