She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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