dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
