i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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