im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
