i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
