Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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