Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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